The Unfortunate MixUp
by TheSnogBox
Summary: By some cruel twist of fate, Harry Potter and Maurice Moss' lives have been swapped. How will they cope with trying to lead the other's lives?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hiyah Guys! I promise I won't use it as an excuse, but this is my first fan-fic, so any reviews/comments would be appreciated! I understand that most of the times aren't right, or dates, but the story is only loosely based, not exact. Enjoy!**

Voldemort had a plan. Harry Potter was on the train to Hogwarts: He could see the brat through Quirrel's eyes, though the turban was covering his face. Look at him, he thought viciously, thinking so much of himself, after destroying the Dark Lord? In reality, Harry Potter was nothing more than a specky nerd who lived through luck. He knew, though, that Quirrell would do what he had asked. Quirrell raised his wand slowly, and muttered the spell...

Moss P.O.V

I sat alone, after hours, religiously comparing the two books. There had to be a difference! Roy had laughed, saying it didn't matter, but I had to know! I couldn't leave this office until I was finished.

Richmond slinked out from behind his door, silently. I started to panic. Richmond! Door! No! Wrong! I began telling him to go back behind his door, then I remembered the most important task for this evening. If you could call 2 a.m evening.

"Oh, Moss, I thought you'd gone home..." Richmond didn't seem like he cared either way, so I didn't answer the statement.

He read from the cover of one of the books I was holding. "Harry Potter? Oh, I used to love those. Can I borrow your spare copy to read, you know, when it's quiet?"

I shook my head and took it from him, then went back to the task in hand.

Richmond shrugged, then went back to his room.

But Richmond didn't understand. I had to know: were there any differences in text between the adult and child versions of the last Harry Potter?

Harry's P.O.V

I boarded the train to Hogwarts around 6 a.m. I was so excited: finally leaving the Dursley's, off to a wizard school! A wizard school! Brilliant.

I had a friend, as well! I met Ron at the train station, and he seemed nice, although the same couldn't be said for some of my other future classmates.

Ron was explaining to me how the sorting system worked, among other things, on the train, which was good, because I had no idea. I was engrossed, so engrossed I didn't see the man in the turban raise his wand...

Moss P.O.V

I found it at about 7 a.m. My eyes were closing, my glasses repeatedly falling off my face. Then I saw it. A comma. Not in the child version, in the adult version. I knew it! Yes! But before I could share the joyous occasion, the triumph over people who believed they were the same, something interrupted me...

Voldemort thought he would enjoy this. Harry Potter believed his life would always be perfect, but Quirrell and himself had decided to swap Potter's life, with the one person more nerdy than the Boy Who Lived. Quirrell muttered the words, pointing his wand at Potter.

"Mauricium, Mosseus!"

Both Harry and Moss fainted instantly.

**A/N Chapter Two written, so it should be up soon. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hiyah, thanks to anyone following this story. Reviews welcome!**

Moss P.O.V

I woke up genuinely thinking I'd fallen into the book.

It was feasible, if an unlikely explanation. Although I had fallen into the wrong story... But what other explanation was there? I mean...

"Harry?" Ron stood over me, looking concerned, of a little on the verge of laughter.

"Roy?" I said without thinking, "I mean... Ron?"

"Wow Harry, you just fell asleep! We tried to wake you up, but it was like you were in a coma!"

I looked up at him finally, and realized that my glasses were wrong: but they weren't my glasses, were they?

"Come on then, Harry, we're at Hogwarts now!

I got nervous. What if I was late? It's not the second book; I'm not allowed to be late! I started to fastwalk.

"Oi, mate, calm down!" Roy grabbed my backpack, and then looked at me. "Where are all your books?"

I turned and looked. They weren't on the train, but all I had was my backpack from before all... this happened. I may be acting as Harry, but I still had my own bag.

"Don't worry, Harry, you won't be the only one forgetting your wizard stuff," Roy - I mean Ron, patted my shoulder.

Hermione snuck up behind us. "Actually, Harry, I have a spare set of books you can borrow, if you want, but you'll have to find your own wand..."

Harry P.O.V

I woke up in an office, with two copies of the book of my life in my hands.

I saw my name on the pages, and looked at the covers. The Deathly Hallows? I cast one of the books aside and started to read the first page of the other. Why was I in the last year, when I hadn't even started first yet? More importantly, why wasn't I at Hogwarts? Where was this?

At that moment, a man wearing a scruffy t-shirt and jeans entered the room.

"Moss?" The man looked at me. I realised I was sat on the floor, hidden behind a desk. Was I Moss now? Who was he? "Have you been here… All night?"

I didn't know, so I just nodded.

"Honestly, Moss," the man (I noticed he had an Irish accent) shook his head, "Well?"

I just looked at him. "What?"

He sighed. "Were there any differences in the two books?"

What's happening? Why would I care if two slightly different copies of the same book had tiny changes? Why did this Moss person care? This book was about my life, I had to read it. However, I had to say something, so I plucked something out of the air.

"The covers," I guessed, trying to look confident.

The man sighed again, but looked concerned. "Moss," He put his hand on my shoulder, " Are you okay? You know, if it was-" The man looked around to check no one else was there, and lowered his voice, "Richmond, I can have a word. He is scary, I know that, and after what happened last time he promised to be more careful around you..." He trailed off, and waited for my answer.

"No, not exactly," I decided the truth was in order. "I'm Harry, Harry Potter, and... um, can you show me the way to Hogwarts Castle?"

"C'mon, Moss," the man replied, "It's been a long night. Let's get you some tea."

Moss P.O.V

Despite my lack of any wizarding gear whatsoever, apart from Hedwig and the clothes I - I mean Harry, had put in his case, I was quite looking forward to seeing what would happen next. My next hypothesis was this: Maybe, I was just reading the book in a really in-depth way, and just thought I was in the book. I would have to follow the storyline, though, and would just be along for the ride. Next, the sorting ceremony.

We walked into the Grand Hall together. Foolishly, I whispered to Hermione, who was next to me: "It looks just like the film!" She, understandably, gave me a blank stare.

I waited patiently for my name to be read out. When it was, I was nervous, but that's okay. Harry was nervous, so I have to be.

I walked slowly towards McGonagall, everyone's eyes on me. I sat down on the seat.

The Head of Gryffindor placed the Sorting Hat on my head. I knew what to think.

"Not Slytherin," I muttered, "Just not Slytherin".

"Okay..." replied the hat...

"Hufflepuff!" it shouted.

Hm. There goes that theory.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Hi Guys! Thanks so much for bothering to read this fan-fic, hope you continue. Reviews are welcome... Enjoy!**

Harry P.O.V

This man was, nice, much kinder to me than others I had encountered. He seemed to treat me like a child, like a pet. I had no idea who this Moss person was, but I wondered if he was... Unsafe?

At that moment, a women walked in.

"Sorry I'm late boys," the woman said, "I was just buying something..."

She walked off mysteriously, then again, and again. I looked at her with a puzzled expression, then said something that, in hindsight, I possibly shouldn't have said.

"I don't know, but maybe you should have bought some new shoes, those look far too small."

The woman looked offended. "I JUST BOUGHT THESE SHOES!" Her voice sounded kind of like a monster when she spoke. I just blinked through my glasses (which were much too strong for me), and she stormed off.

You may be wondering now: Why didn't I do anything about this? I was pretty much trapped in this office - I had no idea what I would do at the end of the day - I was trapped in a strange, child-like man's body, yet I did absolutely nothing.

Do you want to know the honest answer? I was scared. I'm 11 years old, and everyone believed I was a man in his 30's, a slightly odd one at that. I had tried the truth, and what did that get me? An "alright, whatever you say, I'm sure you think that's true," sort of thing. If I was Moss, I would be irritated. I'd rather be locked in a cupboard than not be taken seriously by anyone.

Convenient.

Moss P.O.V

I walked to the table I'd been given in near-silence. I was now hated by nearly everyone. There were a few claps from the Hufflepuff table, however I didn't have any friends there, so they weren't that bothered about having me. The Ravenclaw table, of course, disliked Hufflepuffs, so I was their enemy, along with Slytherin, who hated me because of the whole I-killed-your-Dark-Lord thing. Gryffindor, who were certain they would get me, just looked disappointed, especially Ron and, to an extent, Hermione, as she had already been sorted into Gryffindor.

If this was permanent, I was going to have to sort out a wand. I couldn't think what to do: Roy usually came up with those sort of things. It had to be the same as Harry's, otherwise Voldemort might win in one of those nobody-can-win, we-have-same-wand fights. That would be unfortunate.

I glanced over at Quirrell. He looked scary, although I may be biased: most people don't know about the second, source of all evil face on the back of his head. I realised I could finish the book right now, by going up to Quirrell and putting a hand on his face. However, I decided that would be like using cheat codes in a game, or fast forwarding to the end of a movie to see what the end is. No, I would follow the story.

Besides, I would look like a freak if it didn't work, and I just stood there with my hand on a teacher's face.

I realised the food had arrived, and I was just sitting there, staring at Professor Quirrell. Many were staring, and some were laughing.

This was going to be a long night.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry P.O.V

Jen. That was the name of this woman. The man seemed to say her name a lot, but she never said his. What is this odd scenario? What is this man's name? More importantly, why? Why am I here? Why this office? Why am I not at Hogwarts? None of this makes sense.

Here was another pressing issue: it seems I'm the resident IT geek in this company. Unfortunately, I know nothing about IT beyond the IT lessons I had at primary school, which I had a feeling wouldn't cut it. I was going to have to learn fast, or come clean; I'd already done that though, hadn't I?

I suddenly had a thought. What if this was all a test from Hogwarts? What if I just had to pretend to be normal, and not tell people I'm a wizard? I could do that.

The Irish man walked over to my desk. "Moss?" he said.

"Yes?" I replied, silently hoping he would say, "Joke's over, go back to Hogwarts, by the way my name is Christopher" or something, however the reality was very different.

"Moss, there's a girl on Sixth, I went up"- for once, these guys never seem to do much... -"Because she sounded really gorgeous"- that explains it -"but I can't work out what's wrong with her computer. Don't suppose you could go and have a look?"

I looked at him. "Okay."

He looked back at me like I'd just said that I definitely, certainly, obviously did not kill the dead man stuffed under my desk with my initials carved on his chest and my spit in his eye. Obviously, I didn't just say that, but I may as well have, I got the same reaction: suspicion, slight amusement, concern and a little bit of fear mixed in. The only one missing was horror, but I'm sure that won't be far behind, knowing this office. I'm sure I don't remember Muggles being this strange; I was one for the first decade of my life. The strange man started to speak.

"Moss," he said softly, "Are you okay? You've been acting strangely all day. For one thing, you haven't really spoke, and you've barely touched your computer!"

I shrugged. "I'm fine."

"See! Usually there'd be a whole story about the small child who pushed you over, or how the new iPad won't support the app you're developing, or something! You're never this quiet..."

I quickly thought of an excuse (why am I lying to this man?) "Sorry, I just haven't had much sleep lately..." I yawned for effect.

This seemed to satisfy the man. He nodded. "Okay, well could you just go and see that girl, for once I think there's a genuine problem with someone's computer."

Jen stuck out her head from behind her door. "Denholm's declared war on stress, mandatory meeting at lunch."

Wow. This office is weird.

Moss P.O.V

That evening was awful. The other new Hufflepuff's all seem to have met on the train, and refused to speak to me for no apparent reason. The prefect's, although Hufflepuff's are supposed to be friendly, took every chance to make fun of me, I think because they were jealous that I defeated Voldemort and they didn't. Not that they would ever admit it.

But I didn't even defeat Voldemort. Harry did, and I'm not him.

I miss Roy. He would stick up for me, where as I can only sit and take their little jokes and insults. Where is he? I hate life without him.

Why am I in Hufflepuff? Harry Potter was in Gryffindor, why aren't I?

Then I realised. The Sorting Hat looks into your mind, and how would it know that this isn't Harry Potter's mind?

I was disappointed, though, that I was put in Hufflepuff, I had always thought of myself as a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw at least: who wants to be in Hufflepuff?

I decided I needed to find a teacher, so I could sort out another wand. I walked up to one of the prefects keeping an eye on us first years.

"Um, sir..." No, not sir, Moss, "Just, er, I really need to see the head of house because I think I left my wand-"

The boy looked at me, muttered a spell, and suddenly I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there. The prefect smiled cruelly and said, "I'm sorry, is there something you want?"

A boy I recognised interrupted. "Oh, just knock it off. Harry, Sprout is in her greenhouse, like every evening. Wander down there, they won't mind if you explain why you're going: the spell will wear off in a couple of minutes."

I nodded at the boy as a way of thanks, then realised how I knew him. It was Cedric Diggory, the boy who would be dead in a few years time. It was horrible knowing this and not being able to say.

I walked slowly trying to look like a slightly lost first year who hadn't memorised the map of Hogwarts one day when he'd had nothing better to do.

When I left the common room, I went around the corner, and saw Hermione there. I waved.

She walked over, her eyes questioning my silent approach. "Hi, Harry!" She looked quite pleased to see me. "I'm sorry you got put in Hufflepuff, everyone was saying it was certain you'd be a Gryffindor."

I shrugged.

"So, um, how are you doing? I was going down to the library, if you-"

Suddenly, Snape came around the corner at the end of the corridor, and I panicked. I did what do every time I panic: I kissed the person I was with.

With Roy, it's a mixture of friendly, nice, and necessary. I'd never really thought of it as anything more than a diversion, and we didn't really talk about it at other moments.

Hermione was different. It didn't feel necessary, more of a privilege than a duty. She didn't seem to mind as much as Roy. I didn't let myself think of the implications of this.

Luckily, Snape seemed to be in a rush to somewhere, and didn't stop to punish us. Unfortunately, I still couldn't speak, and Hermione was now demanding to know why I had just kissed her.

I did what any sensible person would do.

I ran.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Hi guys! Thanks so much if you're still following this:) Writing this faster than I thought I would, so hopefully faster updates now. I know the times are a bit out of sync, but stay with it! :) Review, please. **

Moss P.O.V

"So can you fix my computer or not, Mister Robot IT man?"

I didn't like this "girl on Sixth". After trying the standard turning it off and on again, I was completely stuck. I even checked if it was plugged in.

"No, I don't think so," What a shame I was transported here before I even got a chance to learn any spells: I could've used one to fix this computer!

"Well, what am I going to do now? If I can't use my computer..."

I shrugged. "Could you... I don't know, double up with someone else?"

She gave me a look like I'd just slapped her best friend, and she stormed off, swishing her blonde hair as she went.

I looked at the time. 12:23. The meeting started three minutes ago. I hadn't yet encountered this Denholm, but I didn't want to get in his bad books. I started to walk in a random direction, hoping to come across someone to ask where the meeting was held.

However, the corridors were deserted. Then I remembered: they would all be in the meeting. Would "I didn't know where the meeting room was" count as an excuse for not going?

At that moment I heard my (well, Moss') name shouted from somewhere down the corridor.

I turned to look. I saw the tall Irish (nameless?) man running down the corridor. "Moss," he panted from running. "Do you know where that meeting is? I've never been invited to a meeting before!"

"Me neither." I told the truth, for once. "Um... We could split up and look in different doors?"

"Okay," he nodded. "Where do we start?"

We glanced down the very long corridor. "How many floors are there?"

He thought for a moment. "Thirty-one? Thirty-four? Something like that."

Ah. That was a lot of floors. "Shall we start at the bottom?"

We found the room eventually, on floor 7. Of course, we could have saved a lot of time by not starting at the bottom, and just going one floor up from where I'd been, with that girl from sixth, but that's life.

But is this life? Or is it just an elaborate dream I have yet to awake from? I hope so, but at the same time, it would be disappointing to find out all of these people were just a figment of my imagination.

The stress meeting was pretty uneventful. He asked for a volunteer, and my, I guess you could call him friend, from downstairs really wanted a go, however he wasn't chosen. He whispered to me, "Do you dare me to scare that woman?"

"Don't," I replied. "It's not worth it."

He looked at me strangely, for what must be the tenth time since I woke up in this world this morning. "You always encourage me to do stuff?"

"That poor woman though!" I tried to reason with him.

He sighed. "Fine. It would have been really funny though."

For the rest of the meeting, I tuned out, and tried to imagine what might have happened if he had scared that woman. It would have made the meeting much more interesting...

Moss P.O.V

It was a long trek down to the greenhouse. Unfortunately, this gave me far too much time to think about what I'd just done. I could speak now, and relished in it.

"Oh, flip, oh, flip, what can I do? What could I have done? Why did you do that?" I argued with myself, lots of questions, no answers... I missed Roy. Roy sorts everything out.

Hermione. I couldn't say I was attracted to her, but still... She had been my favourite character, mainly because of her ability to follow the rules. She was pretty, I guess, but did I like her like that?

I don't know.

I arrived at the greenhouse. Professor Sprout was there, and welcomed me in. C'mon Moss, focus on what's important until you find a way to get back home...

Turns out, I'm pretty good at this wizard stuff.

Three weeks and one long owl conversation with Mr. Olivander later, (it turns out, there was a third identical wand Olivander forgot about, who knew?) I had learnt more spells than I had thought it possible, and had made some friends in Hufflepuff (none as good as Roy though). I still see Ron quite a lot, and today I am sat with him.

"So, you press those keys, and they come up on there?" Ron looked confused.

"Yeah," I replied. "It's called a mobile phone."

"Wow!" He really was amazed. I had showed him a few "Muggle" things since we arrived, and he was fascinated. "I can't believe my Dad never showed me one of these..!"

"C'mon, Ron," Hermione interrupted. She'd been really quiet since that day. Neither of us have mentioned it, and I, for one, don't plan to. "You grew up with wands and flying broomsticks, but a phone is beyond imaginable?"

"Well, yeah..." Rob blushes slightly.

Suddenly, the phone makes a faint buzzing sound, and goes black.

"Oh, well." I sigh. "That's the last of my Muggle stuff."

"Ron!" Fred and George wave Ron over. "You have to watch this. We're going to..."

Hermione turns to me. "Why did you do that?" I look sharply at her. "Kiss me? A few weeks ago?"

I look at her with a blank expression on my face. Maybe, if I pretend it didn't happen, she'll forget too. Right?

"You know," she looks at the floor, shyly. "If you like me, you could have just said..."

I laugh, involuntarily. As if I could 'just say'.

She looks hurt, and I stop giggling. A smile breaks out on my face. I couldn't have asked her! Even if I did like her! Which, I don't know...

She suddenly leaps up from her chair, her eyes shining with tears. She runs away, although I have no idea why.

Ron comes back to our table and sits down. "Wow, you should have seen the practical joke they-" He paused. "Where's Hermione?"

I shrugged. "Ran off."

She still wasn't back by dinner in the Great Hall. I had no idea where she had gone, and neither did anyone else.

Then Quirrell burst through the door, shouting: "Troll! Troll in the building!" that I realised the déjà vu.

Hermione was in the girl's bathroom; it was all my fault.

I think.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Hiyah! As always, thanks so much to anyone who reviews, I know I promised a faster update (sorry :3). On with the story! :D**

Harry P.O.V

Here was the part I was dreading. It was five o'clock: everyone was going home.

I had nowhere to sleep, except the office, and my back hurt so much from waking up in that uncomfortable position this morning... I had no desire to do that again tonight.

"Bye, Moss," the man looked happy to be going home. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

I smiled weakly at him. "Yeah, see you."

"Err, Moss... Get a good night's sleep, okay? So you'll feel better."

I nodded. "Alright."

Jen had already gone home, and after a few moments I was alone in the office.

I decided to explore this basement, if I was going to be here all night, which looked likely.

I was amazed by the retro technology and quirky, random objects I saw in this place. Some were fascinating: why did this Moss have three different pairs of glasses? Also, in his drawer was a Rubik's Cube, several Sudoku puzzles - unfinished, and a copy of Programming Monthly. The other man's drawer had three unfinished sandwiches in it, as well as an old Gameboy - broken, wrappers from things he had eaten, and a very different sort of magazine. They seemed so different from each other, yet at the same time they seemed exactly the same. I knew that even if I stayed for a thousand years, me and this man would never be truly friends: Moss and this man seemed to have a true friendship.

A door I hadn't noticed caught my eye. What could be in there? Could there be a space I could sleep in? I walked over and opened it, not expecting in any way what I saw.

The man stood directly behind the door was tall and dressed almost completely in black. He had dark hair, and, despite his scary appearance, looked scared of me. I am proud to say I didn't scream, however I cannot say I didn't jump.

"Moss?" He looked nervous.

"Um... Yes?" I didn't know who he was, either.

"Oh, are you here about your books... I'm sorry I stole them, I was just upset... You know, because you said I couldn't read one..."

What do I do? I decided I was sick of lying. Besides, the man was wearing a cape, and didn't look dissimilar to the cloaks everyone wore to attend Hogwarts. You can always trust a man in a cape. I think.

"What's your name?" I asked bluntly.

The man smirked slightly, appearing to think it was a joke, then saw my sincere expression. "Richmond... Would you like to come in..?" He gestured to his room. Wow. Richmond was definitely the strangest of everyone.

It took about an hour for me to explain my story in full: Richmond seemed to know it, he just wanted to hear it again. He explained that there was a book series written about me. This still confused me: How could a book be written about my life before it happened?

It was much better to have someone to discuss all this with. Richmond asked if I wanted to sleep in his room, and I accepted gratefully. Despite his perpetual gloominess, Richmond was actually a really nice man. He listened to what I had to say. We talked for almost the whole night; I'm not sure if Richmond sleeps at all... It's a good thing really; I think if he had fallen asleep, I would've become too tempted and read my future...

Right before I eventually fell asleep, a question I had been dying to ask popped into my head. "Richmond... What's that Irish man working in the office called?"

Richmond looked at me from the ceiling where he had settled down. "Oh, you mean Roy?"

I nodded, and fell asleep happy.

Moss P.O.V

Everyone started to panic immediately. Ron gave me a look of despair, and I nodded towards the exit: this is what me and Roy (Roy...) agreed to do in a crisis like this, because everyone is so busy panicking, they forget to leave.

True to form, the entire crowd is too busy running around, and we slipped outside the door unnoticed.

"Do you know where Hermione is?" Ron asked. I could tell, as I (Harry?) was not in Gryffindor now, Hermione was his best friend. I just hoped Roy and Jen hadn't replaced me while I was in this strange (but enjoyable) alternative universe.

I knew, but I pretended to make a guess. "Um... I think she said something about going to the girl's bathroom?"

"Which one?"

My mind went blank. I hadn't been able to read the Harry Potter books whilst I was here, so I had no idea. I couldn't say, 'I'll know when I see it" (Almost everything is the same as the films) because then they might guess I wasn't Harry. I still don't really know why that would be bad, but it feels wrong. "Um... Which one does she usually go to?"

"Do you think she'll be there..? Probably. C'mon then!" Roy started to run, but it was no match for my speed walk.

We arrived at the bathroom after a couple of minutes. I could hear the troll inside, so I knew we had the right bathroom.

We stood outside. I didn't want to go in there, and it turns out, without Harry, Ron isn't all that brave.

"Hermione!" we whisper-shouted at the same time. "Hermione!"

There was no reply. I knew what we had to do. "Let's go in."

Ron shook his head. "But... It's a troll!" Hermione had influenced Ron far too much.

"Yes, but we have to follow the- I mean, save Hermione!"

"Um... Why don't you go in and save Hermione, and I'll stay here and be the look out?" Ron shoved me through the door. For the thousandth time today, I wished Roy was here.

I walked slowly, so I didn't draw attention to myself. I crept around the corner, towards the stalls. I couldn't see her, so I knew she must be in one of those. I checked the first, the second. I was so close to the troll now. I was scared. Why was I doing this again?

I was behind the troll now. It seemed quite placid for the time being, which I was grateful for. I approached the last stall, knowing she must be in here.

"Hermione?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Hi:) Pretty short chapter (sorry) but there's only one more chapter after this left to publish, and that will be longer. As always, (hopefully) enjoy! :D**

Harry P.O.V

The next day was pretty uneventful. I was exhausted, so generally just tried to keep out of having to 'fix" anyone's computer, or doing any work altogether. Wow, the rest of the team must think I'm turning into Roy... It felt so good to know his name.

Roy was having some argument with Jen, something about Roy and a girl, and him going on a date with 'chocolate' on his forehead, or something. I didn't really care, none of them knew what I was going through like Richmond did. I was just holding out until I could go and see him again tonight: It would look suspicious if I went there now, as this Moss guy seemed to really not like Richmond.

In the morning, Roy had come in and seen me. He asked if I was okay, and I decided to use his name as much as I could.

"Hi Roy! Roy, I was just wondering, when's Jen coming in? Roy?" I smiled.

Roy didn't seem to notice how often I used his name. In fact, he looked almost relieved. "I don't know, Moss, but I'm pleased to hear you're feeling better."

After that, the afternoon flew past. Soon everyone left, and it was just me and Richmond.

This time, we were both under the mattress and blanket Richmond "kept handy". He was talking about some strange stuff, all about tarantula's eggs in bananas. I just watched him intently. His face was naturally white, and his jet black hair accentuates this. I was watching his lips, and didn't notice when they stopped moving...

Suddenly, Richmond kissed me, I... He was beautiful, but... I'm eleven! And a wizard! And he knows exactly what's going to happen in my life! I pushed him away.

Richmond looked at me, angry and just... sadder than usual. "I thought... I just thought you..." He trailed off, because there was nothing left to say.

"Richmond!" I saw tears in his eyes. Was there... Blushing, under all his vampireness? "I'm eleven! I... I thought we were just friends... I just... can't."

He nods. "Can I have some time alone?"

"Okay," I realise there is no real way to give someone "time alone" if you are sharing a bed. So I take a second blanket from his "just in case" cupboard and make a bed on the floor as far away from Richmond as I can without leaving the room (I can't bring myself to do this). Richmond had his headphones in and was listening to what I assume is "Cradle of Filth".

I hated this. Now our friendship was ruined. I just wanted to go home... At least in the wizard world everything was straight forward... Ish.

Moss P.O.V

She wasn't there. I was wrong. This storyline, like everything else since I arrived, had changed. She wasn't there.

But speaking out loud had drawn attention to myself.

The troll didn't look so placid anymore.

"Ron?" I shouted, trying to get him to come and help me. No reply. He was gone.

What could I do? I had to follow the story, but I couldn't defeat the troll without Ron or Hermione. I started to panic. Where was Hermione? The troll turned to face me. I was frozen to the spot.

He held the club above his head, ready to strike me... He brought it down, almost halfheartedly, and completely missed me.

I took my chance and sprinted for the door.

It was locked.

Where was Ron? He was supposed to be a lookout. The troll looked angry at it's imprisonment, and decided to take it out on the only living thing in this room. Me.

My back was pressed against the door, and I had nowhere to go. Trolls really were immensely stupid. I prepared for my death, closing my eyes when, all of a sudden...


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N So... We're at the end (I promise I'll keep it short). Just like to say a massive thanks to those that reviewed (jessapink, missanimestranger and Tabby Dreamer, you guys are awesome!) because they forced me to keep going. As with most fan-fics, I don't own either The IT Crowd or Harry Potter, so I guess my biggest thanks go to Graham Linehan and J.K Rowling, because otherwise this would be kinda hard to write. This chapter seems quite long to me, so I'm not gonna write anymore. Go on!**

Jen P.O.V

That red door. I knew I had to open it. Roy had warned me not to, but Roy always spoils things. What if it was... A shoe cupboard? A portal to a shopping centre? I wouldn't know until I opened it, and I would know by the end of the day.

I had come in especially early, and there was no sign of Moss or Roy. I decided to go for it.

I opened the door quickly, certain I was ready for whatever was behind it.

I felt and heard the door connect with something, but I wasn't sure what it was. I peeked around the door.

Moss P.O.V

The door I was leaning against was opened, and I fell back into someone, flooring them and myself. I heard my head connect with the floor, though I felt disconnected from this. At least this way to die would be less painful than being clubbed to death.

Jen P.O.V

Moss was behind the door, now with a head wound (Head Wound!) and was unconscious. I tried to wake him up, but I couldn't. If only I could remember the emergency services number... 0118 999 881 99... Duh-duh, duh, duh, duh-duh-duh, duh... 3.

Something tells me that wouldn't get me through to the hospital.

Voldemort saw Quirrell open the door, and his worst nightmare came true.

Harry Potter - well, the boy who inhabited his body - fell backwards, coming straight towards Voldemort. Quirrell was frozen to the spot, and the boy fell onto him. They hit the floor simultaneously, and Voldemort's nose hit the floor first. The bones were crushed. Then his forehead hit the floor, and everything went black.

Harry P.O.V

I woke up several hours later, in what I can only assume was Hogwarts. Finally! I was back to normal. My hand reached up to touch my scar, just to check I wasn't someone else new.

I was me. I looked down at my robe, and frowned when I saw the Hufflepuff badge. I thought I would be in Gryffindor (I admit, I may have had a quick look at the first book)? I heard a small chuckle, and looked up. A tallish man with long white hair and a beard was sitting at the end of my bed. I almost jumped.

"Well done, Harry," the man said. I couldn't go through this, not knowing people's names again. "I just came to congratulate you on your battle with the troll. Falling back into Professor Quirrell caused him to become unconscious, and upon examining his head wound, we discovered his second face. As it turns out, Voldemort was living at Hogwarts all along."

What? I just nodded. How weird was this school?

"I just wanted to thank you, because this potentially saved many lives. Voldemort's soul survived, but he doesn't have the strength to come back for a while, by which time we will all be more ready." He got up, and walked towards the door.

"By the way," he said, from the doorway. "Your Gryffindor robes are in your new dormitory. Next to Ron, I take it?" he winked. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Harry."

I noticed he had left a note, and picked it up. "Dumbledore. Just for future reference."

I shook my head. Our headmaster was a genius.

Moss P.O.V

I woke up in Richmond's room, of all places. Richmond's room? Richmond was staring at me.

"Richmond?" I asked.

He woke up from his daze. "Are you back?"

How did he know? I didn't ask, I just said quietly, "Yes."

He looked devastated. "Oh... Okay."

I sat up from where I had been put in the recovery position at the far end of the room. "What happened?"

Richmond replied, "You got knocked out by the door." He knew I meant so much more, but decided to go for the obvious.

At that moment, Roy rushed in. "Richmond? Where's Moss?" I came as soon as I could..." He saw me, looking pretty okay. "Oh thank God you're back."

I looked at him. "What do you mean, Roy?"

He hugged me, which was nice, and just whispered, "You know what I mean."

"Well," I said. "These computers won't fix themselves, will they?" I smiled.

It was so good to be back.

Harry P.O.V

It was almost a day later when I saw Richmond at Hogwarts.

I was walking down a corridor, completely lost, when I saw his jet black hair and cape.

"Richmond!" I set off running down the corridor, trying to catch him up. "Richmond!"

I caught him up, and grabbed his shoulder. Richmond?

"Wrong," the man said. "Minus twenty points from Gryffindor for running in the corridor and quoting a TV show that hasn't been made yet."

The Potions master shrugged my hand off and walked briskly on. I watched him go.

I couldn't move all of a sudden. Grief coursed through me.

Richmond...


End file.
